Getting Started

Here’s what you need to know if you’re going to get dirty with our girls.

  1. Profanity happens. Get over it.
  2. We cook with passion, profanity and lust. We live that way too.
  3. Our recipes are ours – we wrote them, developed them, cooked them and photographed them in a real kitchen. We did this to make sure that you could make them in your own kitchen. Easy to swallow. Dirty Approved.
  4. Please don’t send us links to porn. We have our own stash. ‘K? Thanks!

But enough about us, we want to talk about you now.  And all your loves and hates and special requests.  But even more than that, the types of foods that get you giddier than a pint of Haagen Daas and no one around forcing you to share.  Here at the DGK, we are resoundingly accommodating to those with a voracious appetite.  Meaning that if you love to eat with reckless abandon but are limited by time or diet, you’re still welcome at our table.  Occasionally at the end of a recipe, we will leave variations on our handiwork to help you out.  You’re welcome.

 


These recipe variations are for when you are strapped for time and can’t dedicate a full day to slaving in the kitchen.  We’re no 30 Minute Meals, but we know a fucking short cut when we see one, and are happy to let you know how to dominate in a hot minute.  Oftentimes, these recipes will leverage the pressure cooker to shave off heaps of time from slow cooking and braising.

 


Distracted by your hangover or need to get shit done elsewhere?  These recipes all follow the mantra of low and slow (ooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..low and sloooooooooooow), leaving you free to tend to other business while they cook away on their own.  These recipes will occasionally utilize the glory that is the crock pot, the veritable food babysitter of the culinary world.

 


Can’t get down and dirty with swine?  Or at least not on the dinner table?  Try these variations minus the pork, bacon or pig action.

 


You saw K.D. Lang kiss that cow a while back and it’s turned you off of beef.  Or maybe you’re still haunted by those California Dairy commercials that made you wonder how bovines could be so sexy?  If you give filet mignon a pass, this variation is for you.

 


I know you’ve got a Rhode Island Red that you’re sweet for, and were she ever to hear about you tucking into a bucket of KFC, you’d never hear the end of it.  This variation ditches the chicken for alternate non-fowl awesomeness.

 


As far as you’re concerned, seafood is for seamen.  Save a fish and ride a sailor (…wait, that doesn’t make sense) with these recipe variations that omit fish and shellfish.

 

If another person asks you if chicken counts as meat, you’re gonna start throat chopping indiscriminately.  Meat is motherfucking murder, and this recipe leaves out the killing in lieu of glorious veggies, dairy, beans and legumes.  Num num.

 


Gluten shmuten!  Pesky wheat (and you too, barley and rye) are for the dogs as far as you’re concerned.  These recipes shun bloating, nauseating gluten for sumptuous substitutes to keep your tummy blissfully serene.

 

Vegans are hard core, man.  We have to love you sexy bitches, especially the way that you know the big secret that leaving out meat and dairy in NOT synonymous with leaving out flavor.  These recipes kick the meat and dairy to the curb and focus on taste, texture and majesty.

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3 Responses

  1. _erica says:

    What about gluten-free?

    • Erica – you are right! Our good friend and lead singer of LadyRock is gluten-free and she would have punched us directly in the boob for forgetting to include wheat-free recipes. Celiac is whack, and we’ll be marking our gluten-free recipes as such.

    • Cassandra Wellington says:

      @_erica Erica – you are right! Our good friend and lead singer of LadyRock is gluten-free and she would have punched us directly in the boob for forgetting to include wheat-free recipes. Celiac is whack, and we’ll be marking our gluten-free recipes as such.