Is That a Banana in Your Pocket or…Oh, It IS a Banana? Nevermind.
I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not an ageist. I have an unrelenting, claw the walls kinda hot love for an old banana. In this society where the young and supple are lauded as beautiful and all else is garbage, I have to call shenanigans. Mother.fucking.shenanigans! And you know why? Because in that shriveled, overripe, black banana lies a sweet treat so complex and dark and mysterious, you will be captivated the first time that you learn to wield its powers. Those with a fabulous banana bread recipe tucked in their back pocket know the drill (mine is Adesina’s Kitchen’s Dark Chocolate Pecan Banana Bread) already, but my favorite usage of the gems is much, much dirtier. Cook the bananas in the three B’s – booze, butter and brown sugar. Then, blend them with cream and eggs to form an ice cream base. Freeze, scoop and drizzle with caramel and banana chips. Old age, butter and treachery always beat youth and skill.
Bananas Foster Ice Cream
4 old bananas, cut into chunks
2 tbs. of butter
1 c. of brown sugar
½ teaspoon cinnamon
2 tbs. of creme de banana or banana schnapps
1 tbs. of spiced rum
1/8 tsp. of fine sea salt
2 c. of heavy cream
1 c. of milk
In a skillet, melt the butter. Add the bananas, sugar and cinnamon and saute until the bananas start to get mushy and a caramel forms. Carefully pour in the creme de banana and the spiced rum and continue to cook until the alcohol cooks off. Do not use 99 Bananas in the recipe as you will probably set your face on fire and your ice cream won’t set properly. We do, however, encourage you to take shots of 99 Bananas while you are waiting for your ice cream to finish churning. Set aside and chill.
Begin making the ice cream base by beating together the eggs, cream, sugar, milk and banana mixture until frothy and lovely, about 5 minutes. Pour base into your ice cream maker and chill according to the manufacturer’s directions. In the last five minutes of mixing, you can toss in a handful of crushed pecan pralines or squeeze in a caramel swirl. Both are completely unnecessary, but the dirtiest kind of decadent.
Alternatively, if you don’t have an ice cream maker but do have a food processor, freeze the custard flat in a gallon bag. Once solid, break into chunks and put in the food processor in two batches, blitzing until smooth.
Transfer into an airtight quart container and chill. Eat with reckless abandon.