Ageists, step to the side - who says that an old banana can't be the sweetest thing you've ever put in your mouth? With a luxe combination of bananas, butter, brown sugar and booze, this recipe proves the naysayers wrong. Dead wrong.
Happy Hour with Eve
Sisters and brothers. What a week. I’m not fucking kidding you. Never in the history of woman has a week thrown such a beat down on me. There were no unicorns. No stuffed bears. Just one “Oh Shit!” after another. I won’t bother you with the details, I mean who wants to hear it? Fuck, I don’t want to relive it. Not even a Honey Badger could erase the tragic memories of this week, because even that drink has honey mixed into the wild ride. There was no honey in this week; not even a packet of Sweet & Low. My package was actually just labeled “Low.”
So I sat down to craft a drink that did justice to the mockery this week made of my life. I started with Vodka, because, well, that’s the best place to start in my bar. Then I had a glass. And a cigarette. And two more of each. And I forgot what the hell I was doing. And somehow, that actually seemed proper. In honor of forgetting this catastrophic week I’m pulling out the stops on this happy hour. Kick off your weekend with an Eve Martini.
Eve’s Dirty Martini
1 1/2 oz. of ice cold Belvedere (if there isn’t frost on the bottle exterior, send it back to the freezer until it learns its lesson)
1/4 oz. of habanero stuffed olive juice
2 huge habanero olives
(I skip the vermouth, who really likes it?!)
Add the Belvedere and olive juice to a martini shaker. Shake it like Shakira.
Pour. Drink. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Add cigarettes as needed.
If you wake up tomorrow and don’t remember a thing, you did it right.