Ageists, step to the side - who says that an old banana can't be the sweetest thing you've ever put in your mouth? With a luxe combination of bananas, butter, brown sugar and booze, this recipe proves the naysayers wrong. Dead wrong.
Happy Belated Birthday Mel with Dirty Girl’s Fried Oysters Rockefeller
Pearls of Wisdom for a Belated Birthday Spectacular
It was Mel’s birthday on the 18th (of the amazingly tasty food blog Edible Things) and because we need to make it up to her that we were fucking sloshed on the actual day AND she is all about the oyster, I’ve got those bitchin’ bivalves on my mind. And as a self-proclaimed oyster lover, I know that the aphrodisiac properties are not any lessened by cooking. Sure you can’t suck ‘em back as quickly, but the way that we make them, by topping a parmesan crisp with silken creamed spinach and bacon and setting a crispy fried oyster atop, is far far dirtier. Translation: far far more awesome and befitting of a celebration.
I’m not totally sure that oysters can’t be any more awesome, but bacon is a damn good start. Here’s my take on oysters: anything that produces pearls should be in my mouth. Often.
Not on your neck? Now you’re just lying to everyone. Eve “Pearl Necklace” Rillette has and will always be your true name.
I so did NOT mean to infer that I am selective about where said pearls lay. You should see what I can do with a string of pearls. But I digress, this is about the food. And in our case, the food is to be eaten prior to any pearl-acious activity.
Good idea, although these babies are bite sized enough that you could conceivably eat and play at the same time. I mean, worse things have been consumed in flagrante delicto. I’m just sayin’.
Dirty Girl’s Oysters Rockefeller
3/4 c. of parmesan cheese
12 thin slices of pancetta
1 c. of creamed spinach
1 1/2 c. of flour
2 tsp. of onion powder
2 tsp. of garlic powder
2 tsp. of paprika
2 tsp. of cayenne pepper
2 tsp. of salt
1/8 tsp. of black pepper
1/4 tsp. of white pepper
12 shucked oysters, drained
vegetable oil for frying
2 in. ring mold
Begin by making the lacy parmesan crisps that will form the base (or the “shell”) for the oyster to sit on. Heat the oven to 400°. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper or a silpat. Place the ring mold on the cookie sheet and fill with one tablespoon of parmesan, spreading it out to make sure that the entire bottom of the ring mold is covered. Continue to make these parmesan circles on the parchment paper until you have a dozen. Bake in the oven until golden brown and melted, about 5-7 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool slightly.
Now for your pancetta – you can use the same parchment lined cookie sheets. Lay the pancetta on the sheet, making sure not to overlap the slices. Bake in the oven until crispy and the fat turns golden, about 12-15 minutes. Drain the pancetta on paper towels and set aside.
If you haven’t warmed up your creamed spinach yet, do so now.
Lastly, make a “bath” for the oysters by filling a deep fat fryer or wok with oil. Heat to 375°. When the oil is just about up to temperature, whisk together the flour, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, cayenne, kosher salt, black pepper and white pepper. Dredge the oysters in the flour and then gently lower into the hot oil. And be fucking careful, because when those slippery bitches get into the hot oil, they splatter like a motherfucker. I’m serious. Let the oysters cook until golden brown, about 2 minutes. Drain on paper towels.
To assemble the dirty bitches, place a parmesan crisp on a plate and top with a piece of pancetta. Dollop a bit of creamed spinach on top and then crown with an oyster. Eat like a canapé, or use a knife and fork if you don’t like a mess. But really, if you don’t like a mess, why the fuck are you here?