Fast Food for Fast Bitches
I’m a prideful lass, but when I’m on a bender and practically licking the gutter for a taste of something dirty, I want nuggets. Chicken fucking nuggets. And no goddamn clown hocking mechanically-separated and reshaped chicken under gilded arches is going to make it happen. Sure, I’ll ride his red poofy pants off when no one is looking, but he won’t fill me up.
Sugar. We finally agree, but for different reasons, naturally. This dish is sweet, salty, spicy, a girl can never have too much of…everything. It’s variety that keeps life interesting.
That is the fucking truth, and no packet of sweet and sour jizz is going to make my life a lick better. I need fried chicken action with the sweet, salty and spice embedded. As seductive on the inside under the cover of crunchy panko as I am underneath this little black dress. Want to see?
Crispy Ginger Chicken Strips with Soy, Pineapple and Sambal Marinade
1 lb. chicken tenders
1/3 c. of pineapple juice
1/2 tbs. of sesame oil
1/2 tsp. of white pepper
1/4 c. of soy sauce
1 tbs. of sambal (red pepper sauce) or sriracha (whatever you got)
1 tbs. of ground ginger
1 c. of flour (if you can get water chestnut flour or rice flour for this one, you won’t regret it)
1 tsp. of white pepper
1 tsp of salt
2 c. of panko (japanese bread crumbs)
oil for frying
chopped cilantro for garnish
1 tsp. of black sesame seeds for garnish
sweet chili sauce for dipping
Rarely do I toot my own horn (I have a bevy of companions to do that for me), but this recipe is wickedly delicious. So before you start cooking, consider doubling this bitch if you will have to share. Because you will not fucking want to. I swear it.
Toss together the chicken tenders with the pineapple juice, sesame oil, white pepper, soy, sambal and ground ginger. Let the seductive strips soak up all of that spicy, salty goodness for as long as you can possibly handle – at least 30 minutes but overnight is best. Overnight is always best.
In a wok or a large pot, heat your cooking oil to a sizzling 375°. Grab three shallow dishes to make a dredging station. Put flour in the first dish with white pepper and salt, beat your eggs in the second dish, and pour panko into the third. Take the strips out of the icebox and drag through each of the dishes, first flour, then egg and then panko. Gently lower the strips in batches into the hot oil jacuzzi and fry away until golden and cooked through, about 3 minutes a side. Drain on paper towels.
Now, as if your strips weren’t hot enough already, top with chopped cilantro and black sesame seeds. Dip in Thai sweet chili sauce to make an already magic thing into a fucking explosion of grandeur.
As per the usual, I can’t just “do” a recipe, I have to modify it. Here are the modifications I made to this:
I doubled the recipe and used full-sized, sexy-ass chicken legs. I rolled them in the flour-egg-panko majesty that Cassandra created here.
Placed them on a rack which is over a tinfoil covered on a cookie sheet (because cleaning up can suck it).
I fried the chicken legs until golden brown in a dutch oven, using saffron oil because of its high smoke point. (canola oil and sunflower oil are decent choices too)
Baked them off (to finish cooking them) at 450 degrees for 15 minutes in the oven.
Serve and eat as directed.