
Ageists, step to the side - who says that an old banana can't be the sweetest thing you've ever put in your mouth? With a luxe combination of bananas, butter, brown sugar and booze, this recipe proves the naysayers wrong. Dead wrong.
Beverages and Cocktails
This sugary, candied apple gets its bite from whiskey and fire from cloves and ginger, a scintillating concoction that’ll help get you hot and ready for any trouble coming your way. Lose the skivvies quick, because this punch literally feels like rolling around naked on a bearskin rug in a rugged mountain lodge.
Sweet and sparkly and creamy…like Cinder-fuckin-rella good! Using a technique popularized by the Jewish deli favorite, the vanilla egg cream, this Sugar Walls cocktail combines Bailey’s Irish Cream with Absolut Vanilla Vodka and the non-acidic club soda for bubbles without the equivalent of a glass of cottage cheese.
Like a pretty pink nipple just waiting to be licked, this perfect Pomegranate Lemon Drop looks sweet but is full of danger. Fresh lemon juice brings the pucker to the party, but if you can’t stand any sweetness whatsoever, replace the sugar in that rim job with crushed chilies and salt. Sugar and salt and spice, oh my!
Fizzy Belgian lambic beer becomes the base of this sparkly adult slurpee, with a stiff slap to the ass from a couple of shots of 99 Blackberries. It’s like a hooker with a glittery muffin – sparkly, dangerous and meant to be plowed with reckless abandon.
This Brazilian cocktail made of fermented sugarcane called cachaça is our savior after a long day. We turn to a caipirinha to ease us into happy hour, with sugar and lime serving as cachaça’s fluffer before filming the money shot.
Celebrate Cass O’Wellington’s rich Irish heritage (not really) with an authentic recipe from the Old Country (again, not really). You’ll be happy that you got a little cream in you, and then later, when you overdue it and toss your lucky charms, this’ll help ease the pain.
Shit week? You too? Well, let’s not wallow and instead do something about it by tying one on. This sparkler is luscious and juicy with floral notes that’ll tingle you down to your toes. You deserve to feel that good given the insane week you’ve had and we are here to help. Love to love you, little mamas.
Its cold as balls outside, but these recipes are perfect for staying in by the Just don’t catch on fire after drinking all the mulled wine.
Take a break from letting people explore your French Quarters and whip up a feast for Mardi Gras. You know you’e gonna need nourishment to get through Lent (and that hangover tomorrow), so here’s some gumbo for meat eaters, seafood eaters and vegans. Take your pic and soak up some of that booze.
There was no honey in this week – not even a packet of Sweet & Low. My package was actually just labeled “Low.” So I’m calling for a happy hour throw down! Forget your week. I guarantee it! This little number does what even the Honey Badger can’t do.
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