I can not lie. I shall not lie. I love good food, but to the kitchen I shall not be tied. I want it delicious- I want it fast. So I can get on...
Food for When You’re Lazy
Fizzy Belgian lambic beer becomes the base of this sparkly adult slurpee, with a stiff slap to the ass from a couple of shots of 99 Blackberries. It’s like a hooker with a glittery muffin – sparkly, dangerous and meant to be plowed with reckless abandon.
Roasting the plum tomatoes and red onions brings out candy sweetness, and the basil and champagne vinegar kick the shit up a delicious notch. It’s a cuddle and a spanking all at once. My kind of party!
Its cold as balls outside, but these recipes are perfect for staying in by the Just don’t catch on fire after drinking all the mulled wine.
Roasted potatoes made sexy, plus a little slang we bet you didn’t know, but will love using! Who knew that dousing potatoes in some fruity olive oil and then leaving them the hell alone would allow them to be coaxed into crisp, golden majesty? You do now!
Accept no substitutes – when you are looking for a Honey Badger in drink form, this is the ultimate version. With a golden combination of Wild Turkey American Honey Bourbon, ginger ale, fresh lemon juice and orange zest, all else is put to shame. I’m talkin’ to you, Eve Rillette!
Hold on to your panties, ladies – this one is a party favorite. This is the Superbowl appetizer equivalent of the “Fast and the Furious.” Because, as you know, “Superbowl” is really code for good food – this meatball recipe is so good, it’ll leave folks begging for more. Even after the game.
When you’re looking to sop up the alcohol in your stomach or eat your feelings with reckless abandon, these tacos are more comforting than a hug from your nana on Christmas Eve. Or in our case, more comforting that Eric Ripert pouring reposado tequila shots directly into our greedy mouths.
The morning after is going to require a little TLC for your bruised and battered shell of a self, and this treat is close to perfection. It’s incredible as it doesn’t involve a lick of cooking, and the majority of the ingredients are lying around the house already. You are in no position to do anything but consume a few bites of protein and carbs to sponge up the shit storm of alcohol sloshing around in your tum tum.
This recipe leverages the pressure cooker to get dinner to the table in a matter of minutes, and the presentation is so clean and flawless that folks will be none the wiser when it comes to any earlier screwups. Just you basking in endless praise and the remnants of the Beef Wellington that you set on fire smoldering in the trashcan outside. You’re welcome.