A riff on the term “side hustle,” this dirty fuckfest of grilled cheesery is dedicated to Eve, who said that a side hustle reminded her of a mile long dipping station to be used with an orgy of grilled cheese sandwiches, cut into tea sandwich sized bites. Say what you will about, Eve, but that bitch is creative as fuck. And an expert at planning an orgy.
This sugary, candied apple gets its bite from whiskey and fire from cloves and ginger, a scintillating concoction that’ll help get you hot and ready for any trouble coming your way. Lose the skivvies quick, because this punch literally feels like rolling around naked on a bearskin rug in a rugged mountain lodge.
Sweet and sparkly and creamy…like Cinder-fuckin-rella good! Using a technique popularized by the Jewish deli favorite, the vanilla egg cream, this Sugar Walls cocktail combines Bailey’s Irish Cream with Absolut Vanilla Vodka and the non-acidic club soda for bubbles without the equivalent of a glass of cottage cheese.
Like a pretty pink nipple just waiting to be licked, this perfect Pomegranate Lemon Drop looks sweet but is full of danger. Fresh lemon juice brings the pucker to the party, but if you can’t stand any sweetness whatsoever, replace the sugar in that rim job with crushed chilies and salt. Sugar and salt and spice, oh my!
Fizzy Belgian lambic beer becomes the base of this sparkly adult slurpee, with a stiff slap to the ass from a couple of shots of 99 Blackberries. It’s like a hooker with a glittery muffin – sparkly, dangerous and meant to be plowed with reckless abandon.
Since it’s been so damn long since we’ve gotten dirty together, fair readers, I wanted to cook up something that would be epically sexy and a goddamn mess all at the same time. You...
Shit week? You too? Well, let’s not wallow and instead do something about it by tying one on. This sparkler is luscious and juicy with floral notes that’ll tingle you down to your toes. You deserve to feel that good given the insane week you’ve had and we are here to help. Love to love you, little mamas.
There was no honey in this week – not even a packet of Sweet & Low. My package was actually just labeled “Low.” So I’m calling for a happy hour throw down! Forget your week. I guarantee it! This little number does what even the Honey Badger can’t do.
Recent Comments