Impressive Dishes
Make this spiced beef tenderloin with pork if you like. When you rub chipotle hollandaise all over the place, it doesn’t matter what protein you invite to be the star of the show. Everyone will be coming. Repeatedly.
What happens when you make a crisp from parmesan and top with crispy pancetta, creamed spinach and a fried oyster? A fucking celebration! It was Mel’s birthday on the 18th (of the amazingly tasty food blog Edible Things) and because we need to make it up to her that we were fucking sloshed on the actual day AND she is all about the oyster, I’ve got those bitchin’ bivalves on my mind.
Mall pretzels have got nothing on these bad boys. After you dunk them in a baking soda jacuzzi and ply them with sweet glorious butter, you are treated to golden gems good enough to wear like a tiara. A deliciously edible tiara.
In celebration of National Tempura Day, let me tell you what is hot – deep fried vegetarianism. It’s a covert vegetable operation that your guests will thank you for.
To celebrate National Bird Day (I kid you not), this recipe, my darling readers, is for the dirtiest of birdies. And I don’t say that in jest – with the combination of crispy bacon imbuing all of its salty goodness into a gloriously moist turkey breast and lux morel mushroom stuffing to gild the lily, you have no excuse but to love the proverbial shit out of this one.
There’s a time and a place for the abomination that is fruitcake, and that’s when you’re dead. Into my cold, dead, beautifully manicured hands, that’s when I want someone to hand me a fucking fruit cake. I don’t care how much booze is in that damn cake – it’s not enough.
What marketing genius designated January 2 National Cream Puff Day? Does this person still believe in unicorns too? I mean, half the world hasn’t recovered from the holidays where you DO actually eat cream puffs (and unicorns) and the other half of the world doesn’t need a special day for cream puffs.
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