Dirty Dishes #4 – The Sugar and Spice Unholiday Show with Trips to the Mediterranean, India, The Latest Anti-Food and Alcohol-Infused Food Insanity

icons_trans_overview On This Episode
Oh, Dirty Birdies…we’re almost completely, entirely, absolutely over the holidays. Already. So we bring you a show filled with giving (and receiving) that mocks the limitations of the holidays. Even though our theme this week is Sugar and Spice, which ironically is VERY holiday. So join us for our dirty unholiday podcast whereby:

icons_trans_shockerShocking Finds This Week


icons_trans_recipesSaucy Recipes from this Episode

First, Give Mama Some Sugar…

Sweet Potato Hash with Crumbled Feta, Cumin and Caramelized Red Onions

1/3 c. olive oil
2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 red onion, cut into large dice
1 tsp. of ground cumin
1 tsp. of dried thyme
1 tsp. of paprika
1 tsp. of onion powder
coarse salt and pepper, to taste
1/2 c. of crumbled feta

Preheat oven to a smoky 450 degrees. Toss all ingredients together until the smoky, sexy spices, sharp onion, and sweet ass potatoes get to know each other. Biblically. Spread on to a cookie sheet lined with parchment or foil and season liberally with salt and pepper. Bake for 15 minutes, shake around the pan to get the potatoes moving, and continue to roast for another 15 minutes. Top with crumbled feta and bake another 5, until the salty white goodness starts to soften into majesty. Remove from oven and feast like the sweet and spicy bitch you are.

…Then, Her Spice…

Middle Eastern Benedict with Lamb Merguez Sausage Patties, Poached Egg and Za’atar Spiced Hollandaise on a Flatbread

Make the Merguez
1/4 c. of ancho chili powder
1/2 c. of boiling water
2 whole roasted red peppers
1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce
1 tsp. of cumin
1/2 tsp. of ground coriander
1/2 tsp. of ground fennel seeds
1/2 tsp. of cinnamon
1/2 tsp. of dried mint
4 cloves of garlic
juice of 1/2 a lemon
1/4 tsp. of salt
4 tbs. of olive oil
1 lb. of ground lamb (or ground beef)

Add all ingredients except the lamb to a blender, close, cover lid with a kitchen towel and blend until smooth. Grab a large mixing bowl and combine the lamb and 1/4 c. of the spicy goodness from the blender until mixed through. Store remaining liquid blend (a fiery pepper sauce called harissa – great for spooning on eggs, pizza, and body parts) in an airtight container with a layer of olive oil on top of the surface to allow the sauce to keep in the fridge.

Form lamb into 8 patties. Heat a skillet on high and cook off the patties in the pan until medium in the center, about 4 minutes per side. Remove to a plate, tent with foil and keep this shit moving.

Make Your Za’atar Hollandaise
2 egg yolks
1 tsp. of thyme
1 tsp. of sumac (a gorgeous, citrusy middle eastern spice)
1 tsp. of salt
1 stick of butter

Add the egg yolks, thyme, sumac and the salt to a blender. Blitz like a fucking maniac. In a microwave safe bowl, melt your butter in the microwave. Turn the blender on, open the little hole in the center to feed ingredients into the blender, and stream the butter in like you are lubing the bitch up some kinda good. The hot butter will thicken into a smooth and luscious hollandaise like damn magic.

Poach Eggs and Assemble That Shit
4 eggs (and vinegar if you do the Thomas Keller method)
2 flatbreads
toasted sesame seeds

Poaching eggs can be difficult – you’ll need to make a hot tub vortex out of simmering water and drop in the eggs with vinegar. Swirl and slip your eggs into the abyss. When we like it hard, we do it Thomas Keller style.

OR you can be a lazy fucking cheater and do it like we do it with egg poaching cups. They are cheap, easy, and only require you to crack an egg into a cup and place said cup into a covered pot of boiling water. Guess which method we use?

When your eggs are done, place a flatbread down on a plate and top with two merguez patties. Lay two poached eggs on top, like a pair or majestic, milky white titties. Pour hollandaise over all and sprinkle with the toasted sesame seeds. Tuck in – you know you want it bad.

…And Then, Finish Her Off Some Kinda Nice

Dirty Fucking Chai

2 parts espresso
1 part chai
1 shot of Kahlua or Spiced Rum

Stir it all together, lay languidly drinking in bed until you have enough energy for the next round.

icons_trans_credits
Credits
Written by Eve Rillette and Cassandra Wellington
Produced by Eve Rillette

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5 Responses

  1. Cassandra Wellington says:

    Eve Rillette, of all the majesty that you have ever put together, that Paula Deen Ham meme takes the goddamn cake. I love you forever and ever.

  2. You’ll always be ladies to me. 😉

    • Dirty Girls Kitchen says:

      Awwwww Adam, despite that, we STILL love your porkchop (recipe). – Eve

    • Cassandra Wellington says:

      I must admit, we do clean up well. It’s just that we get dirty pretty much immediately thereafter. Thank you for recognizing the two seconds of nice (followed by a lifetime of naughty).

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