Ageists, step to the side - who says that an old banana can't be the sweetest thing you've ever put in your mouth? With a luxe combination of bananas, butter, brown sugar and booze, this recipe proves the naysayers wrong. Dead wrong.
Easy Sleazy Coq au Vin
Drink It ‘Til You Make It
Its easy, its sleazy, its meezy. Cooking in a dutch oven is so much better than GETTING a dutch oven as Cass pointed out to me.
Well, given slow roasted chicken braised in red wine and bacon or fart face, I’ll take the chicken, please. But wait, can we go back for a second? Have you been taking those French lessons that I bought for you? With such a French last name as Rillette, you should know better than to call it “cock-OH-vin”…maybe the cock bit is all just wishful thinking on your part?
I’m a red blooded American, with a slim measure of French blood running through my veins. I feel like I got my shoe fetish, my shameless love of red meat and my sex drive from France. Hmm. Probably the sass from there too. I’m truly a French woman at heart, I just can’t actually speak the language.
Well, let’s celebrate your compatriots and your love of boozin’ and sloozin’ (I am certain that is not a word, but I could care less) because it is the fabulously apropos Drink Wine Day. A holiday that has my heart and makes prepping Coq au Vin all the more sensical. No one can call us out for polishing off a case of Burgundian majesty if it’s also going into the dinner.
Oh, love of Burgundy. Got that from the French too. Know one thing I DIDN’T inherit from them? The ability to eat whatever you want and stay slim. I don’t give a fuck, this dish is totally worth its weight in my derriere.
Derriere! See, that’s french! So is menage á trois! You know that one two. You are a veritable cunning linguist, ma chere 😉
Cunning liguist, not cunnilingus? The second kinda sounds more fun. Just say’n.
3 lbs. of boneless, skinless chicken thighs
salt and pepper
4 oz. lean thick-cut bacon, cut into matchsticks
2 tbs. of butter
1 onion, thinly sliced
1/3 cup cognac
2 c. of Burgundy
2 c. of chicken stock
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 cl. of garlic, minced
1 bay leaf
1 sprig of fresh thyme
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons butter, softened
1 lb. of crimini mushrooms, halved
2 shallots, minced
salt and pepper
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
buttered egg noodles or mashed potatoes
This recipe is a lot like an assembly line – you’ll either want to cook everything in a dutch oven with a platter near by, or work with a skillet and a casserole that you can cover with foil.
Begin by preheating your oven to 400°. Dry your chicken well and seasoning with kosher salt and black pepper. In a large skillet, cook your bacon until crispy and fat is rendered. Set aside on the platter or casserole. Plunk the two tablespoons of butter into the pan and melt. Add your chicken and brown well on both sides. Remove chicken to platter or casserole with the bacon. Add the onions to the skillet and toss to coat in the oil. Next, carefully add the cognac and let the alcohol cook off. Scrape up any browned bits on the bottom of the pan. If using a casserole pan, pour this mixture in with the chicken and bacon. Otherwise, add the chicken and bacon to the dutch oven. Stir in the wine, chicken stock, tomato paste, garlic, bay leaf and sprig of thyme. Cover the dutch oven or casserole and place in the oven. In a baking dish, add the mushrooms, shallots, salt and pepper and the butter. Pop that into the oven as well. Cook both the chicken and mushrooms for 30 minutes.
Take both the chicken and the mushrooms out of the oven. Remove the chicken from the sauce and set aside. If using a casserole dish, pour the cooking liquid into a sauce pot. Put the sauce pot or dutch oven on the stove and bring to a boil, reducing liquid by half. In a small bowl, mash the butter and flour into a paste (called a beurre manie if you’re all fancy pants). Whisk the butter into the boiling cooking liquid until thickened. If you don’t whisk constantly, you’ll have lumps and we’ll be tempted to call you an asshole. We won’t, but we’ll be tempted.
Add the chicken and the roasted mushrooms to the sauce. Taste the sauce for salt and pepper and reseason if necessary. Serve over egg noodles and garnish with lots of chopped flat-leaf parsley. Curly parsley is for losers.